Scary as it may sound, even in the age of Cern and nanotechnology, people still know very little about their emotions and how they are shaped. You see, looking outwards instead of inwards is easier and less painful. Unquestioning acceptance of what supposedly authoritative sources teach keeps you in the dark. How free can you be if you cling to and maintain a sterile educational system that produces nothing but identical replicas, manufacturing machines, parrots that faithfully repeat what those supposed authorities write in their books? How independent can you become without enough room to develop your own opinions, perceptions, and way of thinking; to know, consider or perceive your own emotions?
Where do emotions come from, how are they created, and how can you control them?
I do not pretend to be an authority on the subject; far from it, I am constantly learning by seeking out the answers to my self-imposed questions. Although I have no full access to that might be uncovered tomorrow or in twenty years from now, considering the facts we know today, I believe that emotions are shaped at the moment of conception. I have personal experience and witness accounts to verify this. A long time ago, in 1954, L. Ron Hubbard researched the human intelligence and wrote an amazing, best-selling book on the matter, Dianetics. If we agree that man is nothing more than organized groups of cells, we can surmise that a fertilised cell in a mother’s womb is already recording her emotions and her psychological changes on a daily basis. It even feels physical pain when the father is excitedly making love to her, when the fetus is only three months old, or when the mother bumps her belly against the table. It is uncertain to what degree ‘our emotions’ belong to us and whether they are just dramatized versions of our mother’s emotions when she was arguing with our father, while we were in her belly in the sixth month of gestation. (This is also why many people believe pregnant women should listen to classical music and avoid frustration).
The only thing missing is the linguistic connection that comes later on from the child’s language learning. Then the link between prerecorded, borrowed emotion and lexical ‘commands’ takes place and ‘solidifies.’ That is why, when we get angry, we often say words that afterward make us wonder how we could ever have mouthed them – how did we ever say such things. We cannot recognize ourselves! Of course, at that moment you are dramatizing – repeating whatever your mother said at the time you recorded her emotion, along with the pain you felt when she bumped against the table, or when she vomited because of a morning malaise.
You are imitating your mother or your father – unconsciously taking up a different identity, like an actor. Just like the expression goes, ‘you are not yourself.’ Deep within you, at a higher level of awareness, you know what is happening to you but you do not have the means to explain it and this leaves you confused. The same story repeats itself every time a trigger appears in your environment. A trigger is anything that resembles the environment and conditions of the first time you unconsciously felt your mother’s emotion, combined with other sounds or words you heard while you were inside her belly.
And so, in the present, triggers activate the pre-stored emotions and recorded attitudes that you unconsciously repeat, ‘being somebody else.’ This is an unnatural occurrence and, according to L. Ron Hubbard, it constitutes a deviation from your actual identity and personality, which return to their previous state in a process that lasts a few dozen hours.